29 July, 2005

Who put this cat in jail?

We're working on a jail break!

I wish I could write like this!!

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A Microsoft analyst has won an annual contest celebrating bad writing by comparing fixing carburetors to fondling a woman's breasts.

"As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual," went Dan McKay's winning entry in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.

McKay, 43, of North Dakota was said by organizers on Thursday to be visiting China "perhaps to escape notoriety for his dubious literary achievement."

28 July, 2005

This is kinda fun

My friend Michael McGarrah forwarded this to me. I got a 44. The following is what he sent.

This is Dr. Phil's test. Dr. Phil scored 55; he did this test on Oprah (she got a 38.) This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees. Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out. Read on, this is very interesting!

Don't be overly sensitive! The following is pretty accurate and it only takes 2 minutes. It's only 10 simple questions, so grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers to each question. Answers are for who you are now… not who you were in the past.

Take this test for yourself and send it to your friends. Make sure to change the subject of the e-mail to read YOUR total. When you are finished, forward this to friends/family, and also send It to the person who sent this to you. The person who sent it placed their score in the subject box. Don't peek but begin the test as you scroll down and answer.

Ready? Begin...

1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon &and early evening
c) late at night

2. You usually walk...
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you..
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth
your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with..
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are....
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are...
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant

1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2 . (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

Now add up the total number of points.

OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

Now forward this to others, and put your score in subject box
"Dr.Phil's Test -- I scored ___ "

This came on my phone last night

Can you tell what this is? It's quite obvious here, but when I received it on my telephone yesterday evening it was still quite bright outside and there was glare on the phone screen. My contacts were blurry so I was squinting at this and moving the phone back and forth trying to see exactly what the heck Steven sent me. I am not kidding, it looked to me like a dog with sunglasses on!! I can't EVEN see now how I came up with that except that the olive in the bottom of the glass was the dog's nose. Once I got home where it wasn't quite so bright and I could take care of my dry eyes it still took me a while to figure it out because I had "dog" on the brain. What a crazy guy.

It was Dad's birthday yesterday so I took him and Aunt BettyJo to dinner at the Salmon House. Since it was "geezer time" I was still home before eight. Plenty of time to work on one of my three projects. But it was soooo hot still! I worked a bit on the blankie but I just couldn't cool off. At least the dog slept better last night because she slept UNDER the bed, where it's cooler and therefore didn't keep me awake, so I slept better. Hopefully it will be cooler today.

27 July, 2005

Hot in Seattle??

Well sure -- it's a relative term you know. It gets into the mid-80s a few days in a row and people start complaining. Thankfully my basement stays relatively cool but still .... the heat takes its toll. First on my knitting because it's too hot to have a lap full of knitting unless it's a little cotton top or small project and I don't happen to be making any of those things right now. Just how it happened. I did manage to do a few rows on my DYI afghan last night. I think it's going to be soooo pretty! I probably won't want to give it away but I kind of have it earmarked for gifting so I'll have to enjoy it while I can.

Poor little Tink though, that's who gets the worst of this weather. She doesn't really perk up until it cools down, which is about the time I'm thinking of bed. Last night I only slept in fits and starts. I was just about asleep when she needed to go out. Fine, I let her out. One hour later I woke up because she hadn't come back in and she was barking! Not good. I called her. She wouldn't come. I went outside and that's when she decided she wanted to play and absolutely would NOT come in. I had to go get cheese to bribe her. Then she wanted to bring her bone on the bed. I let her - I'm a sucker, I know. And she calmed down and slept for a while because there is a fan there that blows on her. But then at 2:30 she woke again and started gnawing on that bone, so I put her down. After a nice chew - just long enough so I'm asleep - she's barking at the door to be let out. AGAIN I get up and let her out but at 3:45 she's barking outside at the paperboy or something and AGAIN I had to bribe her to come in because she's going puppy nuts, running around wanting to play. Oh mannnnnnnn. I can't get mad at her though. It's only natural that she'd want to play when she feels good and not when she's hot and uncomfortable. But still.

Okay so, 4 or 4:15 we're back asleep but then Erik's alarm goes off at 5:30. erghghg I've managed to "nap" most of the night but I wasn't rested at all so I turned my alarm off because typically I don't really sleep much after he gets up and starts making noise so I figured I'd just "nap" a bit more and get up around 7 when I usually do. Huh uh Not today, ladies and gentlemen. I didn't awaken until after 7:30! Then it was just a mad rush and everything went wrong including getting some strawberries on my top and having to change right before I went out the door! And to top it off, little Tink was still feeling her oats. As I was putting on my makeup I kept hearing this strange noise, like something was hitting the outside of the house. I went out and there she was all cute in the garden with half her body down a hole she was digging, presumably, to China! *sigh* Come in the house? Oh noooooooo, not Tinkerbell.

I got to work nearly 50 minutes late. And I have to leave early because it's Dad's birthday today and I'm taking him and Aunt BettyJo to dinner, geezer time. I need to figure out a way to get my attitude back on track.

26 July, 2005

Cruel Cruel Cruel!!

Oh the tricks one's mind plays. I got up at about 12:30 am, quite groggy, stumbled to the bathroom and did my business. And as I was sitting there I'm thinking, "Ahhhh, tomorrow is Sunday. I can sleep in." D'oh! Then of course it dawned on me that it was, alas, only Monday and tomorrow was Tuesday as in today. Lordy this is going to be a looooooong week.

25 July, 2005

Stash busting

I put some of my stash on eBay this weekend. Odd how tough that is! I love having this backlog of yarn. However, I realized that I just wasn't going to use it and there are projects that I want to do that need yarn that I can't afford. So - yay for eBay!! I even found four skeins of Debbie Bliss Cashmerino Super Chunky that I forgot I had.

Here's the Berroco Optik. I thought I was going to love this but once I swatched it I realized it was too busy for a whole garment. It would be good for cuffs or stripes or something but I'm going to try to sell all but one of the 10 skeins.

I bought some Portofino Paper about a year ago to make a cardigan with fun fur cuffs and collar but I haven't done anything but swatch that so I know I'll never get around to it. It's pretty cool yarn though.

The fun fur is just gaudy. I know I'll never use that. Plus which the Lion Brand is a little scratchy. Not like Apart, for example.

And finally the Cashmerino. I think it's my favorite yarn except it pills a bit. But it is oh so soft.

A creature of habit

Yahoo mail was acting up this morning and threw my whole morning off schedule. I like to do things in a certain order - read and respond to emails being the first thing. Oh well ... I'll try to overcome.

21 July, 2005

Running the gauntlet and Bernie Bott's Beans

I just got back from a quick trip up the Ave (University Way, for the non-Seattle people) where I was accosted several times. "Hi, can you spare 5 minutes for the environment?" What I said was, "Not today". And what I got back was, "Well, enjoy the sunshine". What I should have said was "Oh, I can spare more than 5 minutes for the environment. What I can't spare is any time for sarcastic little twits who are trying to guilt people into donating to their cause." That just annoys the hell out of me! Here's what I observed today at lunchtime - in Seattle, one of the "greenest" cities, in the University District, one of the most liberal neighborhoods in the city, no one, it seems, could spare 5 minutes for the environment. Everybody, on the other hand, was enjoying the dickens out of the sunny day.

And, completely unrelated topic here, I tried Bernie Botts Every Flavor Jelly Beans this weekend. In case you're one of the 6 people who haven't heard or seen any Harry Potter, they're jelly beans that come in every flavor, even disgusting ones. Being a jelly bean fanatic I thought I'd give them a try and, quite honestly, I didn't really think that they would make the nasty tasting ones. I looked on the back of the box and there was a legend, kind of like when you get Jelly Belly beans showing what each color meant. Besides more normal flavors like cherry and toasted marshmallow there was also listed black pepper, soap, earthworm, ear wax, vomit(!), booger(!!), dirt and grass. I looked carefully at the list of ingredients and the only thing that made me think that perhaps they might be nasty tasting was that black pepper was listed as an ingredient. I was cautious but first off mistook an ear wax for a toasted marshmallow. Eeuuuuwwww! I spit it out. Thankfully the booger and vomit are pretty easy to pick out and pick them out I did, not even daring a nibble to double check that the vomit wasn't tutti frutti, it's closest lookalike. It was actually pretty funny and fun too, although Erik thought I was being a bit wasteful, since I was tossing away every 4th or 5th bean. I had a big laugh. Well worth the money.

20 July, 2005

Oh can you BELIEVE this???

Check this out:

Jul 20, 9:02 AM (ET)

LONDON (Reuters) - The word "fail" should be banned from use in British classrooms and replaced with the phrase "deferred success" to avoid demoralizing pupils, a group of teachers has proposed.

Members of the Professional Association of Teachers (PAT) argue that telling pupils they have failed can put them off learning for life.

A spokesman for the group said it wanted to avoid labeling children. "We recognize that children do not necessarily achieve success first time," he said.

"But I recognize that we can't just strike a word from the dictionary," he said.

The PAT said it would debate the proposal at a conference next week.

I'm sorry, but that is about the most asinine thing I've read in a while. In a very long while. Failing is part of life. What next? Assure the little darlings that they'll all live forever? Good gawd.

Omar goes home

I had to take Omie to the airport this morning. We had SUCH a good time while he was here. Here's a picture of him and Ruth at Ray's Boathouse yesterday, where we went for lunch and to discuss his Johnson O'Connor stuff. I think he had a good visit. I know we sure enjoyed having him around. I hope he is serious about moving up. It sure sounds like it.

19 July, 2005

Omar & his thiz face. Not really sure exactly what it is supposed to convey. But we were having fun drinking and playing pool last Tuesday night.

18 July, 2005

How many projects can YOU count?

The stash

Tinkerbell at the lake

It is sooooo bright at the lake. This picture didn't come out too well. This is another mobile blog. It's Tink at the water's edge. She just loves it there. She doesn't go out too far in the water, preferring instead to just paddle at the edge and then lay down in the shallows.

My Omie

This is pretty blurry, but Omie at the dog park. It is hot hot hot hot today. You can see what a big boy he is.

Too much going on

Omar has been visiting and I've taken time off work and not been spending too much time at the laptop. I have been trying to get my mobile blogging deal going but I think there's something wrong with my phone. It won't let me send pictures, which is weird. And it won't let me receive them. Time to go to the Cingular store I guess. Plus which it's HOT and I haven't been knitting too much. Maybe this afternoon I'll go downstairs where it's cool and do some stuff. Crazy wanting it to be cooler so I can knit.

12 July, 2005

Guilty pleasures

Oh this is terrible. More terrible than sneaking a peek at that Nanny 911 show. I have been just scanning through blogs and it is just ... well, kind of like looking at something really awful. I can't stop after one. I go on and on. It's just insane what people write. And I have noticed a similarity in templates. The religious ones go for that parchment look. Many of the political ones go for the black. Weird. What is embarrassing though is that many of the young girl ones read just like my old diaries. How incredibly self-centered girls are. Or I was anyway. I shudder. I am so very very thankful I don't have any children.

11 July, 2005

I am ready to tear my hair out!

I hate hate HATE Internet Explorer. And Microsoft. I am going crazy trying to get some quizzes made and I have to use IE rather than Netscape to do it and it freaking thing keeps crashing! Arghghghgh!!!!!! I spend so much time dealing with brower issues and compatibility issues and I'll bet that 99% of them are non-issues and simply Microsoft or Mac being pissy with one another. No wonder I want to knit all of the time. It's meditation. Rather like sucking one's thumb.

I had to change my blog template. I was looking at random blogs last week and realized that I have the template that is used by all the little girls. So, as much as I love pink, green is a good second.

08 July, 2005

It could definitely be worse

Last night was Ginny's night out with the girls. Kind of a bachelorette party without any tiaras or strippers. Plenty of drinks though. I had the foresight to book a Doctor's appointment for 11 am so I didn't come in to work but rather slept in a bit and left from home. I actually don't feel too bad, considering I drank 5 martinis. I did eat though, which is key. I would have been in serious trouble if I hadn't been eating. So, of course, no knitting last night for me. I managed a couple minutes with my orange sweater while I was waiting for the Doc. I was thinking of maybe putting in a row of eyelets and threading a ribbon or I-cord under the bust. Kind of making it an empire type thing. It could be cute. Can't decide. I want to do something though because I think that unrelieved orange might be too much, even though it's off the shoulder. I tell ya what though, I sure as heck don't feel like working. urgh Maybe I should get some lunch.

07 July, 2005

I love mohair! And felting too!!

I scored big yesterday. I can't remember how, but I found this place called Paradise Fibers. They have mill ends of some odd ball yarns. I bought some mohair because I had finished up that Flower Power shrug for my sister and loved it so much that I thought I'd like to make one for myself. Even though this mohair is blended with synthetics I thought I'd give it a try. Can't beat the price. It is $10 for 1500 yards! Here's the colors I got. There isn't much of a selection but I originally thought I'd make another Chain Link scarf with three colors and, while it doesn't show up very well here the color on the left is green and it looks lovely with the two blues. But then I got to thinking that maybe I'd like to make a throw. When I was making the latest felted bag I noticed how pretty the pattern was on the bottom of it. When you knit in the round and increase once at the beginning of each needle (you're using 4 dpns when you start out) a wonderful swirl pattern automatically happens. I thought it was so pretty and that it would make a great blankie. Especially since this mohair is washable because of the acrylic content. I also figured that in order to make it reversible - the only problem with knitting a throw rather than crocheting it - I'd have to stripe it by knitting a few rounds then purling a few rounds. Well, here's the very start of it. Can you think it a sillier time to start knitting a blanket?? But I like to have a few projects going so I don't get bored and this is a mindless type of project that I can just sit and do while watching a game or having a drink. No counting.

I whipped out another felted bag. This is another version of Sheree-Lee from Spun. I had knit one that looks exactly like the pattern and then branched out, using stash. Unfortunately I didn't make the handles long enough to put over the shoulder, but at least this time I put rubber tubing through the eyelets so that when I felted it they didn't close up and now I can use the handle as a drawstring, which I couldn't do with the first one. Prefelted it looked like this. And after felting like this. I love making felted bags because not only can you use up stash, but they go so quickly and you don't know really what you're going to end up with until you take them out of the washing machine. Each one is unique. I also finished the BF's guitar strap and felted it. I haven't put the holes in it yet. He loves it. I can't wait to see that on his guitar. I guess we'll have to do that this weekend. It looks pretty darned good though, just laying on his guitar case.

06 July, 2005

Doggie Dermatology Day!

Yay! Today is the day I take little Tink to the dermatologist to find out what the heck is wrong with her skin. I can't wait and the poor baby, I am sure if she knew she'd be like calling me every 10 minutes to ask if it's time yet. I feel like a criminal though ... I forgot that she wasn't supposed to have any food in case they need to sedate her for testing. So as usual, in my groggy state, I filled her bowl with food and she ignored it until I was getting my breakfast stuff ready to take to work. I heard her crunching and that's when the penny dropped. So I had to pick up her food. At least I think she only got a couple mouths full so it shouldn't be a problem. I just felt so bad! Talk about insult to injury - there she is, dirty because I haven't been allowed to bathe her, and itchy, and HUNGRY and mom takes the food away!! I'll make it up to her tonight for sure.

I'm also going to take pictures of my finished bag and post that tonight or this afternoon. I actually did NOT knit last night! I read magazines. My magazine stash is getting out of hand. Funny how I used to read all the time and now ... I knit all the time and my magazines are stacking up and I haven't bought a book (other than a knitting book) from Amazon in ages. Oh well. I think I'll look into that audio book thingie that runs on MP3 players. That'd be cool.

05 July, 2005

More FOs

What a great weekend! I finished the BF's guitar strap and made a whole purse, which I felted up last night. Unfortunately I think I should have made the strap longer, but it'll be useful for carrying WIPs. I took pictures but didn't load them onto my laptop. Maybe I can do that tonight if I'm not too tired. I was disappointed the first time I made this bag because the pattern said to thread the i-cord through the eyelets and THEN felt it. Well, you can guess what happened - the i-cord just felted itself into the eyelets and you can't use it as a drawstring, which is what I wanted to do. So this time I threaded some rubber tubing through the eyelets before I tossed it into the washer and then pulled it out when it was done. Voila! Patent eyelets.

01 July, 2005

I don't know why this should bother me

It's the Tom Cruise thing. He's obviously crazy as a .... as a ..... I don't know what. I read somewhere lately that the reason we're all hearing more about his Scientiology is that he fired his old publicist and hired his sister and now he's just going around talking about all this stuff he wasn't allowed to talk about before. And now we know. He's a looooooon! I don't usually get caught up in the celebrity thingie but dang .... Now everytime I look at him I hear cuckoo clocks in the back of my mind, like in a cartoon. I'll never be able to watch "Risky Business" again.